Why did my heart have to waver? It’s impossible. I would never waver. Izumu, you made a resolution, remember? Atobe Keigo is out of your life now. You didn’t want him to come back and now he never will.
“Izumu-chan?” My head whipped around to face Yuushi who was walking a little bit behind me.
“Yes?”
He merely smiled at me and picked up his pace. I can tell he knows how I am feeling. He’s that kind of guy. I am grateful he did not broach that subject with me though. Instead, he left me to my own thoughts.
I felt bad that I left Mukahi-kun’s party without telling him, and brought Yuushi along with me. Even if Mukahi-kun doesn’t notice me gone, he will definitely look for Yuushi sooner or later. Great, now I feel really guilty. Maybe we should get back to the party. But the thought of having to face Keigo-kun is just… stifling. No, Mukahi-kun doesn’t deserve this. He needs Yuushi there at his party and I can’t be selfish and monopolize him all to myself.
“Yuushi…” I said and turned to him.
“No, we are not going back,” he said. “You are in no state for it. Gakuto will understand. He’s a pretty understanding guy despite how he acts and looks most of the time.”
“But…”
“It’s okay, there are more important things to care about right now,” he stopped walking, so I did too and then he turned to look at me. I tried to hold his gaze, but I faltered as I remembered the accident in the storage room.
It didn’t take long for him to bring me home. Without even realizing, we were already in front of my house gates.
“Yuushi…?”
“Hm?”
“Thank you,” I told him. He just nodded without saying a word and left. I watched his retreating back until he was out of sight before walking into the house. Ignoring the cries of worries from the maids and butlers, I instantly made my way into my room, locking the door behind me and opening my closet. I picked up Keigo-kun’s blazer and umbrella. I’ve decided what to do with them. Stuffing them into a paper bag, I asked the maids where Izumi’s new room was and placed the paper bag on her bed. She’ll know what to do with them. Keigo-kun’s name was clearly sewn into the blazer in gold thread.
Back at my room, I dug out an old and dusty box and went over to my bed and sat on it, spilling the contents of the box on the bed. I stared at them and remembered what I told Yuushi that night in his room. That I still miss him but I didn’t want history to repeat itself. Maybe what I told Yuushi back then was something that I truly realized only now.
I picked up the album on the bed and flipped it open. Those were the good times when the four of us were still friends. When we still too young to understand what pain and hate are. Pages after pages are filled with memory I treasured and wished would come back. Of course that is an empty wish, but still…
I can feel tears flowing down my cheeks and I hastily wipe them away and discarded the album somewhere on the bed. There are lots of things here that concerns Keigo-kun. The torn up piece of paper I drew as a child. The letters we used to exchange even though we live next to each other. The uncategorized musty old photos that I never find time to put into the album.
I stuffed everything back into the box and walked to the backyard. It didn’t matter if the tears are already flowing uncontrollably. I have to put an end to this. I don’t want to be tied to the past and be hurt anymore. Locating the incinerator wasn’t hard. Having to throw the box into it was hard. The heat of the flames licks against my face and I can feel my tears drying.
This is it. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I dumped everything into the waiting fire and ran, not even looking back to see if the flames successfully engulf the box and turn my memories into nothing more than charred remains.
====
“I can’t believe it’s raining again,” Izumi sighed as she wiped the raindrops off her face with the sleeve of her school blazer. Keigo quickly shut the car door behind him and leaned back against the leather seat, not saying a word even when Izumi complain non-stop about the continuous rain.
“I thought moving here would mean that I am finally able to escape the rain in England, but even here…” Izumi stopped when she realized Keigo wasn’t paying attention anymore and only watched the raindrops fell against the window and roll away with a blank look.
“Keigo-kun… Are you okay?”
Keigo blinked at her and nodded before going back to staring what is outside the window. Izumi sighed again and wrapped her hand around Keigo’s, trying to let him know that she is there. Keigo only held on tighter, not saying a word.
====
Keigo never felt so lonely before. Well, he had once when he knew that Izumu had left him without telling him all those years ago. But that was it. He didn’t know why he felt like a teenage girl with unbalanced hormones right now. He needed to calm down. The great Atobe Keigo never panics or gets flustered by anything.
That thought helped him cool his head as he paced around his bedroom. There was no reason for him to be overly worried about Izumu and Yuushi. It’s true that he now knew that Yuushi had feelings for Izumu, but for years, Yuushi never acted on them. There was no reason why he should start now.
And Keigo was pretty confident that Izumu didn’t feel the same way towards Yuushi. Even though she said she hated him, Keigo still refused to fully believe in that. He knew that in the end, Izumu will end up being his again.
He was also pretty confident of that.
====
I can feel the awkwardness in the air as Izumi cut her own piece of steak from her plate across from me. Daddy looked happy beside me as he downed his own glass of wine. But no one had said a thing. I poked at a broccoli and played with it.
“How was your day?” Daddy asked Izumi after he finished wiping his mouth with a napkin.
“Splendid,” Izumi said and Daddy nodded at her encouragingly. “I love it here in Tokyo. And I get to see Keigo-kun again.”
“At least someone’s happy about seeing him again,” I muttered under my breath.
“What was that, Izumu?” Izumi asked me and I quickly shook my head.
“I said I am glad you are enjoying yourself,” I lied and went back to poking a carrot.
“Don’t play with your food,” Daddy reprimanded me and I shove the carrot into my mouth.
“I am done. Thank you for the meal,” I said and pushed myself off the chair and walked away despite Daddy’s calls. I locked myself in my room with a book and ignored the maids who greeted me. A few minutes later, someone knocked on the door.
“Go away,” I said.
“Izumu, it’s me.”
“Onee-san?” I asked and went to open the door for her. “What do you want?”
“May I come in?”
“If you’re going to talk about Keigo-kun, you can leave now,” I said, not batting an eyelid.
“It’s not about him,” she said and pushed past me and into the room much to my annoyance.
“Nee, when are you going to call him ‘Kei-chan’ again?” Izumi said and sat on my bed.
“Unless you didn’t notice he didn’t like being called that,” I replied and closed the door, settling on sitting on the chair away from her.
“Hmm…”
“I thought you said we’re not talking about him?”
“Ah, that’s right!”
“So…?”
Izumi bit her bottom lip and actually looked nervous as she approached me and grab my shoulders. I raised an eyebrow carefully at her.
“I wanted to ask about… Shishido-kun.”
I can feel my eyes going wide in surprise. Did Izumi just said what she just said?
“I heard that since you sat in front of him in class that you must be close to him and all that. Do you think you can help me?”
“Help you with what..?” I asked. It was pretty obvious, but I still wanted to make sure that this is actually happening and not some stupid illusion.
A small blush spreads throughout Izumi’s face. “You know with what,” she said.
I frowned and thought back to what Shishido had said earlier about how Izumi and Jirou seemed to be on close terms with one another. What is with this sudden plot twist?
I decided to ask her anyway, “Neesan… What do you think of Jirou-kun?”
“Well… He is nice,” she said briefly, “But our current topic is Shishido-kun, isn’t it?”
“Right…”
“Can you give me his phone number?”
“Can I ask him about it first?”
She frowned and stared at me. I knew I had no other choice. I took out my phone and gave her my contacts list.
>>>Next Chapter
