Fireflies - Shaman King - Oneshot

Kanto ran into the rainy night. The stars were gone, replaced by the droplets of rain falling ever so rapidly into the damp soil. Her bare feet were already dirty, but she didn’t care. The thin fabric of her simple white duster clung to her sweaty skin and is soaked wet, but she didn’t care. She just keeps running into the night. Deeper and deeper, faster and faster. Her breathing became ragged, but again, she didn’t care.

The only sound she heard was the painful beating of her heart. Despite the deafening beating of rain and the clashes of thunder, only her heartbeat can be heard by her. She clutched her chest tightly. Because it hurts so much, she just wants to tear it right out and not feel anymore pain. The pain of the memories of the one person that meant to her. The pain of a certain blue-haired Ainu shaman. The memories of Usui Horohoro.

She reached a cliff and sat so dangerously close to the edge. The rain beats down on her. On her body, her heart, her soul.

As each droplet struck, each memory came flooding back. She closed her eyes, and remembers back to when she first met him. Her beloved, her one and only, the person who’s being meant most to her.

She was three. An orphan servant to the Usui. Her mother died at childbirth. The head of the Usuis named her Kanto, which means sky in Ainu terms. She remembered that all her life, she works for the Usuis to repay what they have done for her. Despite the taunting her fellow tribesmen gave her because of the scar she bore across her left eye, she works hard and decided to smile.

She has no friends. She was hated. The child who brings death to their mothers is considered cursed and useless. Everyday, they make fun of her. The tribe children would even go to the extent of throwing rocks at her and lock her out in the mountain snow, alone and shelter less.

But Horohoro was different. He was the first to give out his hand and ask her to play.

“Really?” she had asked, afraid of this being another prank. At the age of three, wariness and distrust has been her habit. But he would give just flash her his trademark smile and said, “Really! Let’s be friends!”

And she trusted him.

She was four. She has the company of her one and only friend. They went through a lot together.

One day, he pulled her into the woods in the dead of the night. “Fireflies!” she had smiled. “Do you know,” he said “that the fireflies are stars God sends to Earth to make the place a brighter place for everyone!” he had smiled. That night, she hugged a jar of fireflies her friend had given her to sleep.

She was five. He still remained her only friend. But he got Kororo. The spirit that connects human to nature. She was jealous. She started annoying and irritating him. He got mad when he knows why. “Go away! Kororo is more important to me than you ever were anyway!” she had cried. What she didn’t know is, that night, he had cried.

She was six. Alone. Again. Her tribesmen bullied her. He came to the rescue. But nothing progressed. They didn’t make up. They aren’t friends anymore. He just came to save the damsel in distress. “Stay away from her, onii-chan,” Pirica warned her brother when he came home all clobbered up with a black eye and all that.

And that’s what he did. He stayed away.

She was seven. Always sporting a fresh injury every time he saw her. She no longer smiled. “You look ugly,” he said when a spectator of children surrounds them. She smiled. “What about when I do this? You use to say I look pretty smiling!” He hesitated, then “You look uglier smiling,” he jeered and everyone laughed. She had cried.

She was eight. “Because of you, some people hated me. Because I use to be your friend! I hate you!” he said to her one night when they happen to be alone. She didn’t say anything or react. She came to the extent where her heart pains so much it she doesn’t care anymore. Every time she saw him, the pain just doubled.

She was nine. The pretty jar that used to hold the now dead fireflies was in her hands. “God no longer wants the stars to keep me company. Even the God hate me,” she had thought bitterly. But she kept the jar anyway. In memory of her only good memories. She had concluded.

She was ten and seeing him less and less. She became scared of everything and every one around her. No one heard her voice anymore. She kept to herself all the time. The tribe children ignored her now. They must be tired of her.

She was eleven and saw a couple falling head over heels for each other. She wonders if someone would ever love her. Then her mind drifted to Horohoro. Her Horohoro. And she quickly brushed the thought away. Impossible. She had convinced herself.

She was twelve and never saw him anymore. But in her heart, it was filled with him. “Horohoro,” she said her name. She loves him. Loves the way his name formed in her mouth. Loves thinking of him. Loves loving him. She loves him. Since day one and it never change. It just got stronger and stronger, and she never doubted it.

She was thirteen. He was leaving. She wanted to say good bye. Wanted to see him. But chance never grants it self. Now she’s alone, without even the presence of him comforting her.

She was fourteen. She pursued him to Funbari Hill. When she reached, she fainted. Yoh took her to the inn when he’s running for training. She woke up. After five years, he finally talks to her again. “Why are you here?” It was cold and dead. But at least it gave her a sense of acknowledgement to at least be there. She stood up without a word and walked to him. Silently, like always, she gave him the empty jar she’s been clutching and refusing to let go.

“Is that it? You came all the way from Hokkaido just to give me this?”

She nodded. Crash. He flung the jar across the room and it broke into pieces. Her eyes widen.

“Go! I never wish to see you again.”

Kanto registered what he said. Her feet paced up and she ran. Past him. Past his friends. Past the main door. Past the main gate. And into the rain.

She sat there recalling it all, and realized that her existence in this world is unneeded and even hated. So no one will miss her when she dies, right? She concluded yes.

With her arms, she pushed herself over the cliff. The plunge was deep. Deeper and deeper she went under. Faster and faster the wind hit her whole body, as if trying to stop her fall. But she just closed her eyes. It’s over.

She just needs to wait for the icy waters to hit her. But it never came. Instead, arms engulf her being and again, the winds hit her, but this time the other way. This must what it feels like to be carried to the other world. She thought.

Slowly, she slid her eyelids open and saw the last person she wished to see. Horohoro. Even the angels took form of Horohoro. “Horohoro,” she whispered and touched his face lovingly. She smiled a little.

Horohoro’s face is unreadable. It remains straight. Kanto is not surprised. He just said he doesn’t want to see her again. But here is his angel form. She must be imagining things. Then she passed out, the last thing on her mind was his concerned face.

The next time she woke up, fireflies are flying around her. “You’re up,” a very familiar voice said. She looked left and her theory proved correct. It was Horohoro himself. She was about to opened her mouth but he cuts in, “If you’re wondering, you’re not dead.”

She sat up and looked down sadly. This didn’t pass his eyes. “Why do you want to kill yourself?”

She hesitated, and then, “You don’t want to see me. You hate me. Everyone does.”

He didn’t say anything. He just got up and pulled her hand. She obligingly followed.

“I am sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to see you or I hate you. I am just not myself when I am around you. I get all jittery and I don’t like that. So I assume I hated you,” he said. “But those people back at the onsen, they knocked some sense into me.” He had smiled.

She was startled by his response and stopped. “I love you,” he said. “I realized that the feelings since we were three is love and it never change. It just grew stronger and stronger until I can’t control it. It hurts me to see you like that all those years.”

“I love you,” was all she said. But sometimes, simple words are enough to convey a thousand feelings. He lifted her head up and his lips grazed hers. She felt… love at the contact. He pulled back and hugged her close. She hugged back, resting her tired head at his strong chest.

She looked at the fireflies. The stars of Earth, and knows that the God loves her, and so does he.